Mindtrap

 

Box of lies

I live inside

Built of years

Of propaganda

And slander.

 

Razor edges

Slash my heart

Shred my soul

Scratch my eyes –

I’m deaf.

 

Weak perimeters –

Your love spills

Into my mindrap

Shedding light

On truth.♥

Good Enough

I supported you,
Trying to fill the holes in your heart.
I was better than I’d ever been,
But not good enough for you.

I cared for you,
Trying to become the woman you needed.
I was better than I’d ever been,
But not good enough for you.

I forgave you,
Trying to believe it wasn’t about me.
I was better than I’d ever been,
But not good enough for you.

I conceded to you,
Sacrificing and believing in more.
I was better than I’d ever been,
But not good enough for you.

I am strong,
Continuing to grow and care for myself.
I am better than I’ve ever been,
I’m good enough and free.

Confounded

You confound me.
Changeable and unpredictable.
I stand transfixed and yet bewildered.
Chaotic in my perception of you:
Complex and impenetrable.
Waiting, with bated breath,
For further signs and wonders.

You pierce me.
Mysterious profundity and passion.
You draw me nearer, day after day.
Firm in your resolve to have me:
With intimacy, intensity, connection.
And then, days pass
With distance like a thousand miles.

As surely as my heart beats for life,
It beats raptly for you also.
I waver not in my love for you.
I question your objectives:
Be they noble and alike?
I suffer profoundly,
And yet can’t turn away.

Feeling.

Aching.
For a past with a different future.
Hoping.
For decisions that come easily.
Striving.
For balance and harmony.
Wanting.
An unrealistic result.
Pining.
For understanding without judgment.
Realizing.
Apologies come too late.
Contenting.
Regrets serve no one.
Living.
With a desire to acquire wisdom.
Considering.
The opportunity in pain.
Appreciating.
The many joys and pleasures.
Imagining.
The panoramic potential.

Arrows

Arrows, shot straight,
Heads dipped in intention,
Trailed by love.

Aimed at the heart,
Sharp tongues cut deep,
Wounds wrapped tightly.

Burns we can’t forget,
Though healing hands try,
Scars are forever.

Hope of transformation,
Love moving forward,
Arrows set aside.