You confound me.
Changeable and unpredictable.
I stand transfixed and yet bewildered.
Chaotic in my perception of you:
Complex and impenetrable.
Waiting, with bated breath,
For further signs and wonders.
You pierce me.
Mysterious profundity and passion.
You draw me nearer, day after day.
Firm in your resolve to have me:
With intimacy, intensity, connection.
And then, days pass
With distance like a thousand miles.
As surely as my heart beats for life,
It beats raptly for you also.
I waver not in my love for you.
I question your objectives:
Be they noble and alike?
I suffer profoundly,
And yet can’t turn away.
I don’t see my reflection in those eyes of yours….like a window to an intricate world I don’t recognize….infinitely bright, mysterious, alluring….so I linger there, enticed but terrified.
Feels like I’m wading slowly into hot salty water, sliding my feet through the sand below….skin tingles as it inches up toward my face….nearly drowning in this sea….I never imagined drowning could feel so good.
Have to pause, close my eyes, and take a deep breath….seems the only way to cope with this….I want to run far away or get in the car and drive for days….this aching I feel coerces me to stay.